


the girl with the jaguar eyes (a kipasher/kipo and the age of wonderbeasts one shot)

by thirteen_beaches



Category: Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Based on the Last episode of haunting of Bly Manor, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Canon, Sad Ending, Unhappy Ending, im also really sorry for this fic but, im so tired, it had to be done, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:55:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27251563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thirteen_beaches/pseuds/thirteen_beaches
Summary: "For Kipo Oak, transforming into her final Mega Jaguar form, discovering her real anchor, and defeating Dr Emilia, that should’ve been it. She should have finally been able to figure out her future in this small society, living happily with her family.But there was always going to be something, she realised the hard way."when kipo makes a discovery that shakes up her entire world, asher is there to help. but is there even a way through it?
Relationships: Kipasher - Relationship, Kipo Oak & Wolf, Kipo Oak/Asher, Kipo Oak/Asher (Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts), Kipo Oak/Asher Berdacs, Kipo/Asher, sisters on the last one
Comments: 22
Kudos: 50





	the girl with the jaguar eyes (a kipasher/kipo and the age of wonderbeasts one shot)

Las Vistas was still healing. 

Healing from the long and deep divide between humans and mutes, which was now on its way to being repaired. Healing from Dr Emilia’s cruelty. Healing from the long war that was finally over. 

But with the healing, life also started to grow, mutes and humans growing together into a tighter knit community, a society. Everyone could now dream of a future without any fear of having to live a particular way. They could make the future whatever they wanted. Most of the time.

For Kipo Oak, transforming into her final Mega Jaguar form, discovering her real anchor, and defeating Dr Emilia, that should’ve been it. She had succeeded in making a world where mutes and humans were ready to forgive each other, and move towards a better society, a future where there would never be any threat bigger than something petty and small. She should have finally been able to figure out her future in this small society, living happily with her family.

But there was always going to be something, she realised the hard way. She realised this, just over 2 years after that fateful final fight.

Life had been going on, slowly and quietly. And Kipo was just packing up her things from the house she had been staying in with her parents and Wolf. She didn’t have too many things, even after the war had calmed down, but whatever she had, she packed into a couple bags, to take with her to the apartment she and Asher were renting together. 

Asher. Kipo smiled quietly to herself as she grabbed a couple t-shirts, her heart instantly warming at the thought of the other person. They hadn’t come out of nowhere at all, those feelings she had for them having always been there, just pushed away because of everything that had been going on. But, now that there wasn’t anymore fighting to do, they came back, in quiet waves on a lake’s shore, bit by bit enveloping her in that warmth, that comfort that she had only seen in her parents and in Benson and Troy’s relationship. And even though it was terrifying, she embraced it, and ran with it, all the way to where they were now. They were just taking life as it went by, and Kipo was excited for their future. Hopefully one that involved them being together, just Kipo and Asher, and their feelings for the other.

“You all packed, Kipo?” a voice spoke up from behind her, and Kipo smiled as she zipped up the last bag, turning around to see Wolf at the doorway, smiling. 

“You bet,” she said excitedly, shouldering one of the bags and grabbing the top of the other. Wolf laughed, rolling her eyes as she walked over to grab the third and last one, pulling it to her chest. 

The ending of the war had affected Wolf the most, but not in a bad way. It just took time for them to realise that finally, after all these years, the fight was over. And they could let the entire guard down, because she was safe. Benson, Dave, Troy, Dahlia and Asher were safe. Kipo was safe. And she had a family, a family that wouldn’t leave her. 

The years after the war, when Las Vistas found a new normal, Kipo was amazed at the way Wolf thrived. Wolf was amazing already, clearly the most skilled at survival in their tiny pack, but now, Kipo decided, she never wanted to see her sister without a smile. Plus, her being a Megadog mom was an unexpected, but extremely welcome development, and it seemed to make Wolf super happy. 

But before Kipo could leave to go to her new home, they had to do their routine check on the outskirts of the city, just in case nothing was going on. So, Kipo and Wolf dropped off their bags near the door, before Kipo transformed into her Mega Jaguar self, Wolf riding on her back as she jumped out into the jungle outskirts. 

Kipo had transformed into the Mega Jaguar a million times before, it was practically second nature to her. But this time, it was going to be different.

*

“Well, looks like the coast is still pretty clear,” Wolf said brightly, a smile playing on her lips that hadn’t left in months. She was holding her hand up as she sat on the Mega Jaguar’s back, staring out at the horizon. She patted Kipo’s head, her indication to be let down. “Guess we can head back, and I can actually say goodbye to you before you move.”

But there was no response from Kipo. The Jaguar just stood there, still as ever. Wolf narrowed her eyes, patting her head harder, even knocking it once just incase Kipo hadn’t felt it.

“Kipo, what’s going on? Let me down,” Wolf laughed out, thinking Kipo was pranking her. Ever since Benson and Dave had told them what ‘pranks’ were, there were quite a few all-out pranks wars that took place between the group, usually ending with someone in a tree, dave in his baby form, and someone on top of a high rise building. “Okay, haha, joke’s over. We really need to get going,” Wolf said, her laugh dying down, but still pretty light.

However, just as she said that, Kipo, no, the Jaguar turned around, growling loudly at Wolf, who had slid down to the middle of her back, suddenly shaken by the loud sound. Wolf gasped, covering her ears at the loud noise, but as she winced and looked up, her eyes met pink. But, for the first time ever since her first transformation, Wolf couldn’t find a single piece of Kipo in those eyes. 

But before she could even gather herself, the Jaguar snarled, launching Wolf of her back, sending her flying. Thankfully, their survival instincts kicked in, and Wolf grabbed onto a nearby branch, allowing her to hold on and swing down to the ground. She looked up, panting for breath, numbly aware of a cut along their upper arm, the sleeve of their left arm torn slightly. But all she could think about was Kipo, and how all of a sudden, it seemed like she had disappeared into the Jaguar, that was now clawing at it’s heading, mewling and whining loudly, sounds that cut into Wolf’s heart. And before she knew it, there was an outward flurry of dust, as Kipo transformed back into a human, collapsed onto the ground.

“Wolf?” Kipo choked out, coughing up dust. She looked up slowly, the world too bright, everything too loud. “What happened?”

“Kipo!” Wolf gasped, pushing herself up to run over to Kipo, immediately hugging her sister tight. “You’re back! You’re okay!”

“Back?” Kipo whispered, hugging Wolf loosely. “What do you mean, what happened?”

Wolf pulled away, staring intensely at Kipo, her eyes full of worry and fear. “You don’t remember anything?” she asked quietly, and Kipo narrowed her eyes, shaking her head slowly.

“All I remember was just finishing off patrol, and then waking up on the ground right now,” she said slowly, looking away. But as she did, she caught a glimpse of Wolf’s bloody arm, and she let out a strangled gasp, pressing a hand to her mouth as tears stood still in her eyes. “What did I do, Wolf?” she whispered, in a voice that broke Wolf’s heart, as she looked away.

“You flung me off your back, and you were growling like a real jaguar,” they whispered, pulling at the flannel shirt tied to their waist. “And your eyes, I couldn’t see you in them anymore, Kipo. It was like ti was only the jaguar.”

“What?” Kipo gasped, looking around wildly as she got up to pace. “But, but how is that possible? I figured it out, how to be Kipo as a Mega Jaguar! I have an anchor, I have everything, so what could it be?”

Wolf just shook her head, untying the shirt around her waist to tie it around her arm. “Maybe, you should go see the Chevre Sisters, and ask them about it,” she suggested, getting up with a shrug. “I mean, it’s probably nothing but just to be safe?”

Kipo just kept her eyes down, nodding quickly. “Yeah, yeah you’re right, I should go see the sisters,” she said, flashing a small smile. “You’re right its probably just nothing, and I’m completely fine. I shouldn’t worry.”

But even as she said it, deep down, Kipo knew. She knew the truth, as soon as the Chevre sisters said it a few hours later.

*

* **a week later***

“Hey you.”

Kipo straightened up from where she was picking up stuff from her shelves in her room at home, instantly recognising the voice that had spoken. She had to hold back the sob that was building in her chest as she turned around slowly to face Asher, who had walked into her room, hands in their pockets. 

“Hi Ash,” she whispered, trying to plaster a smile on her face as she looked at them. Asher smiled gently, crossing the room to walk up to Kipo. It was at that moment, Kipo realised, her bags were slightly unpacked and she had been trying to pack her things, trying to find her thread of thought. But she kept losing herself, forgetting things, suddenly in another part of the room to where she remembered. “Sorry, I, I’m packing I just, I got distracted,” she whispered, but Asher just smiled, shaking their head as they walked up beside Kipo, picking up some of the things she had dropped.

“It’s okay Keeps, I’ll help you,” they said gently, standing beside Kipo. “Besides, we’re already a week past our plans of moving in so, a bit longer won’t kill us. I can wait as long as I need to.”

But as they spoke, they noticed how Kipo had gone quiet, her usual smiles and laughter, mixed in with endearing looks that made Asher’s knees weak, they were all missing. And it was now replaced by a Kipo who was gulping nervously, like she were holding back sobs, and her breaths were hiccuping. Her eyes were red, like she had been crying for a long time, and her hands were shaking, and the alarm bells were well and truly ringing in Asher’s head now.

“Kipo?” they asked quietly, but to no response. Kipo’s breathing got shallower, and a small sob escaped her lips as she stepped back. “Kipo, what's wrong?”

“I can’t do this,” Kipo whispered, and Asher felt their heart drop at the sound of her voice. They had never heard Kipo sound so broken before, it pained them. “I can’t keep pretending to you, like everything is okay. I can’t, hide this from you.”

“Hide what?” Asher asked, their eyebrows furrowed as they stared at Kipo. Kipo glanced up at Asher, before looking away, staring into empty space in a way that would haunt Asher for the rest of their days. 

“I’m not gonna transform into the jaguar again,” Kipo said quietly, and Asher almost didn’t hear it. But before they could react, Kipo continued, “This wasn’t supposed to happen I, I found my anchor. I won, and I figured it out, so why?” Her voice was breaking, and a few tears rolled down her cheeks as she drew shaky breaths. “But the other day, I’ve never lost myself like that before. I just, it was like I, as Kipo, just vanished. And I couldn’t remember anything.” 

Kipo walked over to her bed, sitting down, as Asher turned, watching her intently, their heart pounding in their chest. “The Chevre Sisters looked grim after I went to see them, and they consulted their cheese,” she continued, and Asher ruefully noted it was the first time anyone mentioned the Sisters and their cheese, and no one felt like laughing even a bit. “But they only told me what I had started to suspect as soon as Wolf told me she could no longer see me in the eyes of the jaguar.” She sniffed, staring at the ground, too tired to cry. “Now it’s like, there are moments where I just lose myself, and I don’t remember things, it’s like,” she choked out, her voice catching. “It’s like I’m losing control, and there’s nothing I can do but look over my shoulder all the time, terrified, but I can’t do anything.” Kipo’s words were basically sobs now, as she tried to push through, her voice trembling, and Asher could just stand there, rooted to their spot, listening as every part of their body went numb. 

“I only felt like this at the very start, like I was alone walking in this big, dark jungle, with this beast,” Kipo said, her voice gravelly. “And the Jaguar wasn’t me it was, it was stalking my every move, watching me, and pouncing at me in the dark to take control! And it was always just out of sight, but it was there,” she whined, the tears streaming down her face now. “And I thought I’d managed to control it to, reign it in but it’s back. It’s waiting for me. And at some point, it’s gonna take me,” Kipo finished, her last words said with such finality that Asher had to suck in a breath, feeling a tear roll down her cheek. 

The silence was heavy in the room, the only sounds were Kipo’s hiccuping breaths as she tried to control her sobs, and Asher walked slowly over to the other side of the bed, sitting down next to her. They looked up, taking a deep breath as they tried to calm their heart, a decision sitting deep in their soul. 

“Do you want company?” they asked quietly, and Kipo squeezed her eyes shut, a few more tears leaking out. But Asher leaned in a bit closer, trying to steady their voice. “While you wait for your Jaguar in the jungle, do you want company?”

KIpo opened her eyes, turning to look at Asher. _They, were serious? Even after everything she had told them, about the possibility of her future, they still wanted to be with her?_ She almost let out another cry when she saw Asher quietly lift up their pinky, holding it out to Kipo, like a promise that didn’t have to be said, if Kipo accepted it.

And she did.

She linked her pinky with Asher’s a small, sad smile on her face, and Asher sighed, leaning over to press a kiss to Kipo’s knuckles, like they were saying, _whatever time they would have, they would be there._

*

Eventually, Asher and Kipo had managed to pack up Kipo’s things, drying their tears with quick, small smiles and brushes of a hand that signalled that everything would be okay. As kipo was about to leave, Wolf looked at her, tears glistening in their eyes as she rushed forward, crashing into a tight hug. Wolf always knew she was going to miss living with Kipo as soon as she had mentioned moving in with Asher for the first time, but with what they both knew now, it was going to be even more difficult. But, seeing the way Kipo seemed to ease up just a bit when Asher placed a hand on her shoulder, a bit of her old, positive self peeking through the cracks, Wolf knew it was for the best. 

Asher loved Kipo, in a different way. But they loved her just the same. And, like Wolf, they would do anything for her. 

Within a week or so, the two of them finally managed to move into the apartment they had chosen a while ago. It was comfortably small, sitting above a shop of the same size. That was a space where Asher had danced on first seeing it, their dreams of a tattoo parlor, where Kipo could help out if she wanted while also going to the school her parents and Billions ran. Maybe even have a small flower shop section for her to take care of along with Asher. Even their apartment, while small, felt like home as soon as they stepped into it the first time. 

But now, when they walked into the apartment on the first night they would officially say they had ‘moved in’, a bit more than a week after, Kipo was just staring at the blank walls, surrounded by boxes.

“So, I was thinking that, once we’re done putting up all our stuff and actually figuring out which room we’re using for what,” Asher said as they dragged a box into the house from behind them. “You and me can actually get out of town for a bit and, you know, travel a bit. Plus we could look for things to decorate the apartment with, and we could be back in a month or so, just in time for the annual Prahm.” They smiled to themselves, closing the door behind them. “Then we can actually talk about that little space downstairs and figure out what we want to do with it after the party.”

Kipo just turned, nodding slowly, but Asher noticed their eyes were unsure. They placed the box on the ground, walking up to Kipo. 

“Hey, is everything okay?” they asked quietly, and Kipo started, immediately straightening up as they nodded, gulping nervously. “Yeah, yeah I’m fine,” she said, but Asher just leaned in, raising an eyebrow. Kipo drew a shaky breath, looking away. “I just, I don’t think we should plan that far ahead. I mean, Prahm is still a while away and, we don’t know if,” she trailed off, the silence already filling in the blanks. _If she even had a month._

But Asher just smiled gently, squeezing Kipo’s shoulder. “One day at a time, Keeps,” they said quietly, and Kipo sighed, waving her hands around nervously.

“Yeah, yeah I know, I’m sorry,” she said quickly. “I’m just being-”

“Realistic?” 

Kipo looked up at Asher, who was just smiling at her, holding so much kindness, and so much affection in their eyes. “One day at a time is alright for me,” they continued. “As long as those days are with you, Kipo, one day at a time is what we’ve got.” Asher sighed, leaning in to rest their forehead against her’s. “It’s what we’ve all got, if you really think about it.

Kipo smiled, her eyes filling up as they reached up to hold Asher’s hand on her shoulder, the small, empty apartment feeling just a bit more like home.

_One day at a time._

*

And they did live one day at a time. And soon enough, that gentle caution with which they went through their days slowly faded to the back of their minds, only resurfacing every couple days or not. Then, those days turned into months. Eventually, a whole year had passed, and Kipo was still there. And Asher was still with them. 

They had just opened their small tattoo parlor and flower shop, both of them co-mingling in the space below their apartment perfectly, like it were a symbol of the way Asher and Kipo had also grown together. Even their small apartment was a world of its own, ever-transforming with things Wolf got from when they would go trips to the surroundings of the city, riding on her Mega Corgi, bringing back anything they found cool that reminded her of the two. Not to mention, Benson was always crafting things they had from the war into cool knick-knacks for the both of them. The black jacket, that had become a signature part of Kipo’s whole look, was after all made by Benson, the 5 symbols carefully embroidered to the back a symbol of their family, one that had formed in unusual times. He had also taken Asher’s burrow outfit, which they had traded for jeans and flannel shirts and overalls, and made it into a backpack for them, something they had gotten embarrassingly teary-eyed over.

It was just another day at the shop, and Kipo was standing by her small display of flowers, watering them with a small purple watering can, when Asher walked up behind her, taking a deep breath as she placed something on the counter near their tattooing tools. Kipo smiled gently, turning around as she spotted what it was Asher had put down, and they couldn’t help but gasp. 

“Is this a piece of the crystal roofs from our old burrow?” was all she could whisper, reaching out to hold the purple rock, glittering in the sunlight that streamed in through the glass doors and windows of their small parlor. 

“Remember those few days where I headed out with Wolf when she went to walk her Corgi?” Asher said, taking a deep breath. “We went back to the Clover Burrow, just to see if we could find something or the other, and there it was.”

“Oh,” Kipo gasped, turning it over in her hand, her eyes sparkling in a way that drove Asher crazy. “It’s beautiful Ash, just like it was when we would spend all night staring up at them,” she said, laughing quietly. And just like that, Asher couldn’t hold it in any longer, they had to blurt it out.

“I’ve got a problem,” they said quickly, and Kipo looked up, startled. “Or rather,” Asher clarified, resting their hands on the counter as they leaned forward. “We’ve got a problem.”

At that, Kipo just let out a short giggle, and a whispered, “Oh?” escaped her lips on seeing Asher’s scrunched up nose. 

“You see,” Asher continued, looking away as she pulled on the sleeve of her shirt. “I know, when we first were moving in we weren’t, dating or anything but we liked each other, a lot. And I know we haven’t been able to talk all year but, I don’t just like you Kipo,” they said, looking up as they took a breath. “I’m actually pretty in love with you, as it so happens.”

Kipo just laughed out, relieved at what Asher had just said, her heart immediately feeling lighter. “Well that’s a relief,” she whispered, walking over to the other side of the counter to grab Asher’s hand. “I’m pretty in love with you too, as it turns out,” they said quietly.

Asher smiled brightly, and the laugh they let out made Kipo’s heart soar. She cupped their cheek, caressing their cheek with their thumb before leaning in to kiss them. And it felt like coming home. And they were safe. 

They were together.

*

And time went on. One year became two. Two became three, four, five. Time became endless. And there was peace, and happiness. 

Everyday, Asher would wake up first, kissing Kipo on the forehead as they shrugged on a coat and some shoes, heading down to Benson’s restaurant. Troy, also an early bird, would give them their coffees and the breakfast of the day to take back to their partner. By the time they made it back, Kipo would have woken up, still in a sleepy daze with the blanket wrapped around her shoulders as she paced the house. And Asher would walk in, and her face would light up, dropping the blanket to run up and kiss them, grabbing the coffee while they were at it. 

They would finish up their breakfast and head down to their little tattoo and flower shop, opening for the day. Business was pretty regular, as Asher also specialised in semi-permanent, temporary tattoos, and makeovers. And Kipo’s flower business was booming on the side. Every day, as the hours grew later, and the patrons started growing sparse, Asher would tiredly close the window, flipping the ‘Open’ sign, before collapsing in Kipo’s lap with a sigh, and a giggle from their girlfriend. 

Their nights would usually end with Kipo finding one of the many tapes she, Wolf and Benson had found back when she would still go on patrol and recon trips, just after the war, and the two of them cuddling in bed as the soft sounds of the movie washed over them. Or, it would end with Asher putting on one of their few records, pulling Kipo by the hand as they swayed in their living room, the orange lights of their apartment painting everything golden. 

Every now and then, Wolf would drop by, spending the weekend with the two telling stories of her Corgi, who now had puppies that were incredibly adorable, so much so it was too much for Wolf to handle. Or, Kipo would take Asher’s leave for a night or so, and she, Benson, Wolf, Mandu and Dave would head out to the conservatory where Hugo’s statue was, and they would camp out for the night, just staring at the stars. Sometimes, Asher, Dahlia and Troy would tag along too. 

And all this while, there was peace in Kipo’s heart. 

And that peace held for years, which was more than most people got. But even that, one day, had to come to an end.

Kipo had been walking home in the early evening once, the sun just starting to descend down the sky, and Las Vistas was closing up for the day, just to prepare for the different mask the city took on at night. She was feeling good, like most of the last few years, and she clutched the warm brown paper bag to her chest She was smiling softly to herself, thinking about the way she and Benson had been joking around all afternoon while he and Troy made their famous spaghetti and tomato sauce, so she could take it home to Asher. As she reached the shop, she was just about to open the shop door, when it happened.

It had been years since she had felt anything remotely like it, but she knew what it was just as it took over her body. Like she was being pushed underwater, and all the surroundings got muffled, replaced by a low growl and blind, pure rage. It overwhelmed her, knocking her off guard, even if it was only for a second.

As suddenly as it had come on, it left, and Kipo was no longer drowning, she was still standing, just barely. She looked around blindly, still feeling the paper bag pressed against her chest, and she gulped in air, trying to calm herself down. She looked up briefly, to see Asher working with a client in the parlor. But they looked up and caught Kipo’s eye, smiling softly, their eyes full of love. Probably because of the glare of the light on their glass door, they didn’t see how she looked.

 _And they didn’t have to know_ , Kipo said firmly to themselves, an idea creeping into her mind as she plastered on a smile, opening the door of the shop.

*

“Hey,” Kipo announced, walking into their apartment. It was just about getting dark in the evening of that Sunday, and that meant Asher was in the kitchen trying to make dinner. 

“Its been years and I still don’t think I have mastered pasta,” Asher announced as Kipo walked into the house. As they turned around, they saw Kipo was holding a potted plant in her hand, smiling nervously up at them. They raised an eyebrow, still trying to stir the pot. “Whats that?”

“I was roaming on the outskirts with Wolf,” she said, lifting the pot up slightly. “And I found this little guy. Felt like saving them.”

“Well, I trust your judgement more than anything, Keeps,” they said gently, but Kipo gulped nervously, shifting on their feet.

“I, um, I was actually wondering maybe, you could check on it and I could finish the cooking?” she said, her voice trembling. Asher turned around to look at her, eyebrows furrowed in confusion, but Kipo just shrugged, trying to act nonchalant. “You know just as much as me about plants after 7 years. Plus, only I can salvage anything you cook”

At that, Asher sighed exasperatedly, smiling as they crossed the kitchen, walking over to the plant as Kipo headed to the stove to stir the pasta. But she wasn’t really paying attention to what was being made, her eyes constantly trying to gauge Asher’s reaction.

Asher sighed, digging their hands into the dirt as they pulled out the plant. “Ah see, here’s the problem,” they said matter-of-factly as they gently handled the plant. “You roots are all,” they started, but trailed off, their eye catching something shining. As they peered closer and pulled it out, they gasped quietly, now holding a silver ring with a purple crystal as the stone.

“Kipo,” Asher said, perplexed. “What is,” they started, but as they turned around, they saw Kipo already looking at them, a soft unsure smile on her face.

“Here’s the thing,” Kipo said, and Asher stopped talking, everything else in the world irrelevant, other than their heartbeat pounding in their ears and Kipo looking at them like they had hung the stars in the sky. “You’ve been by my side for as long as I can remember, and I love my life right now. And I don’t know how much time we have left but, I want to spend it with you Ash.” there were a few tears that had fallen from Kipo’s eyes by now, and she didn’t even bother wiping them away, her eyes still trained on Asher. “And, I’m not even sure if there is anything like marriage, but whatever it is, its enough for me if we just wear the rings and know. If it’s enough for you.”

Asher let out what could only be a mixture of a sob and a laugh, a huge smile on their face as they nodded enthusiastically. “I think that’s enough for me too, yeah,” they whispered, setting down the ring on their kitchen table to run up to Kipo, pressing a quick kiss to their lips, giggling softly to themselves the entire time. Kipo leaned in to kiss them again, trying to show all her emotion through it, her heart conflicted between soaring and sinking.

Asher pulled away, still laughing excitedly as they pulled Kipo into a hug, melting into her arms. But Kipo couldn’t share their laughter, knowing the reason why it was so important she said what she had to as soon as possible. 

_They had to still have time._ ’

*

That time before entering the shop wasn’t the only time Kipo started to feel the jaguar crawl up behind her. It started to happen every few weeks, for a brief moment only, before she would come back, even more rattled than before. But that was all it was, just brief seconds of losing control, two seconds of rage before she was back to being herself.

But every few weeks became every week, and every week soon became every couple of days, and Kipo was still hiding it from Asher. The moments were growing longer too, Kipo losing herself for 20-30 seconds before she was able to hold on, and yank back control. She was trying desperately to try and act like nothing was happening, for Asher’s sake, but they saw right through it. They knew something was up, with the way Kipo’s smile had been fading day by day, going back to the first few days from when they had moved in. But it frustrated them beyond anything, because if Kipo didn’t confide in them, they couldn’t help.

It all got too much one day, when the two were washing up dishes after dinner, and Kipo’s eyes were raw, like she had been crying before, but she had brushed it aside when Asher had pointed it out. And Asher couldn’t take it anymore.

“So are we not gonna talk about this?” they asked quietly, and Kipo just looked down into the soapy water of the sink, trying to take a deep breath. The silence stretched thin, an Asher sighed, slightly annoyed. “Guess not,” they mumbled, as they picked up another plate to wipe dry.

Kipo sighed, squeezing her eyes shut as she picked up another plate. _Why couldn’t she just tell Asher about it?_ She chided herself as she dipped the plate into the water. But just as these thoughts circled through her mind, Kipo felt a sudden stabbing pain in her stomach, and she groaned, doubling over as she dropped the plate on the floor. 

Asher, who had been wiping plates on the other side, spun around at the sound of the plate shattering, and Kipo’s loud groan, and they dropped the towel, immediately walking over to their side. 

“Kipo? Kipo, what’s going on?” they asked worriedly, placing a hand on their shoulder, as they leaned over, trying to catch her eye. “Love, talk to me.” But just as they said that, Kipo whipped their head around, their eyes pink and hollow, and they growled loudly. The sound and the sight caused Asher to jump back, their heart stopping as what was happening sunk in. Kipo hunched over, the growling morphing into a groan, and just like that, it was over with a scream, and Kipo was back, as herself.

“Kipo!” Asher gasped, jumping up to hold her shoulders, cupping her cheek. “It’s okay love, it’s okay, i got you,” they whispered as Kipo’s eyes grew wide, staring at the sink.

“It happened again,” she whispered, and the way her voice was trembling broke Asher’s heart. “It keeps happening, so much.”

“Okay,” Asher said, their voice hinging on panic as they rushed over to turn off the tap. “It’s okay! It’s just a few times after many years, it’s probably nothing!” they tried to say, pushing back Kipo’s hair. But Kipo just kept staring blankly, eyes wide and lips trembling as she shook her head at everything Asher was saying. “You’re gonna be okay, you can’t think the worst, love. We don’t know what this means!” they said desperately, no longer sure whether they were trying to convince Kipo, or themselves. But they kept going.

“We can have so many more years together,” they said quietly, cupping Kipo’s cheek. “Kipo? We can have so many years.”

As they said that, Kipo looked in their eyes, nodding slightly. Even if she didn’t agree, she wanted to. She so desperately wanted to. 

“Come here, babe,” Asher whispered, pulling Kipo close into an embrace, kissing her cheeks, her forehead, the space behind her ear, rubbing a thumb on her cheek. But Kipo couldn’t sink into it the way she used to, couldn’t close her eyes and drink in the feeling.

Because she was in the jungle again. And she had just caught her first glimpse of the jaguar stalking her.

*

They grew more careful as time went on. Asher started to take up more of the responsibilities of the store, and Kipo stayed home. She always felt tired, plus the added worry of her having another ‘incident’ while at work didn’t fill her with much hope. But Asher didn’t seem to mind taking on the extra work, reminding Kipo everyday that they loved her, and would do just about anything for her. 

Wolf came by to visit more often, once she found out what had been happening. And Kipo guessed Asher had been right to tell them, it wasn’t like they would be able to hide it from her sister much longer, even if they had wanted to. And in the end, at least Kipo didn’t feel lonely when Asher was downstairs working. 

But even Asher, with their positive attitude and hope, could tell things weren’t getting better. Kipo was now losing control way more often than even when they had first found out, and for longer periods of time. Every time, Kipo was still able to fight off the jaguar, regaining control. But, anyone could see, each fight took a but more out of them than the last one did.

One night, a few months later, Asher walked into their apartment, dropping the bags of takeout they had gotten for dinner onto the dining table.

“Kipo, you are not going to believe what Dahlia heard in the gym today,” they said with a laugh. “Did you know Doag has a girlfriend? Yeah, and apparently they've been together a whole year, and none of us knew!” They smiled, shaking their head as they took off their coat. “There was a time when we were like that too, don’t you remember?”

But as no response came from within the house, Asher looked down the hallway facing the front door, peering in confusion. “Kipo?” they asked, confused as they stepped forward. But as they did, they heard a low rumbling, like the very bones of the house were shaking. They narrowed their eyes, walking forwardly slowly, trying to keep an ear out for the rumbling as they walked down the hallway. As they neared their bedroom, Asher spoke up quietly, trying to keep their voice calm as they called out, “Kipo?” Asher opened the bedroom door, and had to hold back a gasp at the state of the room. 

The pillowcases had been ripped up, the bed sheets pulled off onto the floor, now just a pile of rags. Some of the items off their shelves had been knocked to the ground, and the walls had deep-set scratches in them. And at the centre of the room, there was Kipo. Hunched over, panting, growls escaping every now and then, sending shivers down Asher’s spine.

“Kipo?”

At the sound of their voice, Kipo turned around with a loud growl, their eyes pink and their hands now jaguar paws, and Asher felt their heart in their throat as, against their better judgement, they stepped closer and cupped Kipo’s cheeks. 

“It’s okay Kipo, it’s okay, I got you, I got you, it’s okay,” they whispered repeatedly, eyes squeezed shut. And eventually, after agonisingly long minutes, Asher felt a human hand cover hers, squeezing it. They opened their eyes, and Kipo was looking around numbly, staring at the room. 

“Asher I’m so sorry all our things, I,” Kipo whispered, her voice so quiet it cut into Asher’s heart, but they just shook their head, wiping Kipo’s face with their hand as they moved to hold her.   
“It’s okay it’s just a little mess nothing too much,” they reassured quickly, smiling at them. But Kipo was still just staring at the room. But her eyes were empty, numb. Listless.

“I’m so tired, Asher,” she whispered, and Asher nodded quickly.

“I know, love. I know,” they said, but Kipo didn’t hear them, instead continuing, in that tired, flat voice Asher was coming to hate. Because it meant Kipo was hurting, and there was nothing the could do.

“It’s like everyday I feel myself fading away, even though I’m still here,” she said, and Asher immediately started shaking their head vigorously. “And I don’t even know how that is-”

“You’re still here,” Asher said firmly, and Kipo turned to look up at them. “You’re still here, love.”

But Kipo just looked down at where Asher was clutching her shoulder. “Like, I feel you touching me,” she said quietly. “And we’re living our lives together. But, it’s like I don’t feel it all the way. Like a part of me chips away everytime I feel the jaguar come close to getting me.” She gasped, a sob coming through her lips. “I’m not even scared of it anymore. I just lie there, waiting for the inevitable, as it gets harder and harder to keep control.” Asher just stared at her, their heart sinking at every word, the tears flowing freely down their cheeks now in helplessness. Kipo just sighed, nodding slowly. “Maybe I should just let her take me.”

“No,” Asher said quickly, taking a deep breath. “Not yet.”

Kipo just looked up at them, her face distraught. “Asher,” she whispered, her voice so broken, so tired, so empty. 

“No,” Asher repeated, grabbing Kipo’s face. “If you can’t feel anything,” they said firmly, blinking through tears. “Then I’ll feel everything for the both of us.” Kipo gasped for air, and Asher intertwined their fingers together, looking intently at Kipo. “But no one, is going anywhere.”

They touched their forehead to Kipo's, both of them just standing in silence in their room, Asher’s eyes squeezed shut as they whispered, “One day at a time.”

And Kipo wanted to agree. She wanted to believe Asher when they said no one was going anywhere.

But she knew better than to give herself hope anymore. But maybe just one more chance.

*

It was too late. 

It had been too late the first time the jaguar had resurfaced. It had been too late that night with the dishes. It had been too late when she had torn up their bedroom. It had always been too late.

But the moment Kipo realised it had been late at night, weeks after the bedroom incident. She and Asher had taken to sleeping on the pullout couch in their main room since then. Kipo had been sleeping calmly, for once in the past few months, when suddenly, in her dream, there was Asher. Standing in the jungle in front of her. But before Kipo had any time to be confused, a loud roar shook the earth, and all of a sudden, she was running towards Asher, claws out and ready to pounce at them…

And they woke up. Sitting on top of a sleeping Asher, her claws out positioned near Asher’s neck, terrifyingly close. Kipo gasped, unable to move in pure shock at what she was doing. Or what the jaguar was doing. 

And that was when she knew. The jaguar was done lurking. It was striking now.

And she could not risk one of the most important people to her. She couldn’t put any of them at risk. Not Wolf, not Benson, not her parents, not Dave or Mandu. No one could get hurt.

So Asher woke up the next morning, reaching over to an empty side of the bed as the morning sunlight streamed in. They sat up, looking around through a wince, hunting for Kipo. But their eyes landed on a note, neatly folded beside a couple of envelopes and a pen placed over them, and they felt their heart sink. They picked up the note, gulping for air, even though they knew what it said. It was saying exactly what they had always dreaded since the moment they heard what Chevre Sisters had told Kipo all those years ago.

But Asher also wasn’t going to just stay put, and do nothing. They jumped out of bed, pulling on a coat and stuffing the other envelopes into their pocket, messages she had written for everyone else before she left, and they ran out of the door. 

Asher ran past their tattoo and flower shop, past the gym. They ran past Benson and Troy’s restaurant, and past all the other stores. They ran past all the people walking by in the morning, heading straight for the outskirts of Las Vistas, where Kipo had said it had all started.

And there she was, standing in the clearing. Screaming and roaring with every time she flitted between mute and human. Asher drew a shaky breath, their heart pounding in their ears as they stepped forward into the clearing.

“Kipo!” they screamed loudly, tears falling down as their throat felt hoarse. “Kipo, it’s me! It’s okay, we can still figure this out!”

Kipo turned around, backing away as she kept painfully flitting between forms, like the war in her mind had now been externalised. Asher gasped, stepping forward again they held out their hand.

“Take me with you then!” they yelled, their screams echoing through the trees. “Take me with you, we can figure this out! And if the jaguar takes me, and it means you stay thats okay!”

But Kipo wouldn’t let that happen. The jaguar could take over her completely, erase every part of her human self. But she would never trade humanity for the jaguar taking Asher as an exchange.

So all she could do was stare tearfully at the one she loved, letting out a choked ‘I love you’, before a dust cloud covered the region, knocking Asher off their feet. And when they looked up, they didn’t see Kipo. It was only the Mega Jaguar.

Asher’s tears stood still in their eyes, hiccuping sobs wracking their body as they stared up at the mute. But Wolf had been right. No matter how much they stared, unlike previous times she had transformed, there was no indication of Kipo in the eyes of the Jaguar. 

The Jaguar roared, and Asher squeezed their eyes shut, bracing for the impending attack, with how close it seemed to them. But as they looked up, the Jaguar was just standing there, staring at them, before taking off into the jungle, its footfalls receding into the horizon.

And Asher was alone, in the forest clearing, with only a ring to remember the one they loved more than anyone.

*

Telling everyone else what had happened proved to be harder than expected, although Kipo had managed to write everyone letters.But Asher didn’t feel any of it. They just felt numb.

Lio, Song and Asher held each other and cried for hours, and Asher could think of nothing more cruel. They knew how their parents would have reacted if something similar had happened to Asher. And Lio and Song didn’t deserve this.

Benson just collapsed to the ground, his body wracked with sobs. Troy held him through it all, as he too cried for his childhood friend. Benson had been no stranger to loss, having lost his whole family before meeting Dave. He just hadn’t expected to lose someone else so soon.

Dave just cried as soon as Asher broke the news, collapsing to the ground and not getting up for a long time. Mandu took it the same way, just curling up beside Dave, grunting softly, her eyes sadder than anyone had ever seen.

Wolf just shut down. She shut everyone out, spending days upon days after Asher came to their door racing around with her Corgi, just trying to outrun the emotions. If she ran fast enough, she could escape. Because even though they had been the first to find out, they hadn’t been prepared to live in a world without Kipo. The only person they let in was Asher.

Because Asher wasn’t prepared for that world either.

And it wouldn’t have been an exaggeration to say, something went missing from Las Vistas that day. 

*

Time marched on, as time often did. And bit by bit, people began to heal in tiny ways. No one forgot, but life had to move on, as life did.

A statue of Kipo was made, because nothing in Las Vistas would have been the way it was without her. And, standing beside her brother Hugo, it seemed perfect to Asher.

Lio and Song kept running the school with Billions, but their daughter’s spirit ran through everything they did, and the play the The-Otters wrote about her was performed every year. Dave performed in it, every year. And every year, he would have to make his bow quick before going off stage to wipe away the tears. But it got better every time.

Benson and Troy had a picture of the three of them hanging up in their restaurant. It was more for Benson, so that he could look at the picture, and remember one of the best friends he had ever had. He even had a dish in his restaurant named after her, his infamous flapjacks. 

Wolf got better too, remembering Kipo as the amazing, funny, optimistic, intelligent, and kind sister she was. The person who made her want to be better, who made her want to trust again. She never truly got over losing Kipo, no one did, but she took it all one day at a time. That was enough for now. Asher and them would meet up often to talk, catch up, and eventually Wolf started to help Asher run their tattoo parlor and flower shop. And she didn’t let Kipo’s flowers die, even if she used to know nothing about gardening. 

Asher spent their days in routine. Wolf helped them in the tattoo parlor, they would walk down and visit Benson and troy. They would hang out with dahlia if they both were free, and always remembered to visit Mr and Mrs Oak whenever they could. Everyone who saw them would also see the silver ring with the purple crystal, that they never parted with. Life in routine was calming, boring even. And they could use some boring.

But all their free time, Asher would spend climbing. They would scale hills, trees, tall buildings, anything to get them to a height. And they would stare out at the horizon for hours on end, watching for movement, peering for a sign. When they got home, they would stare out their window, on the moonlight jungle for just a peek, of their girl with the jaguar eyes. Every night, they would sleep on the couch, and leave the door open just a crack, in case she should ever come back. Waiting for their lover to return.

And most days when they slept, they felt as if a hand was on their shoulder, comforting them, holding them. Like she was watching over them.

Like Kipo would never leave, as long as Asher loved her.

**Author's Note:**

> *runs and hides after posting this*  
> an 8.2k kipasher one shot at what cost  
> im sorry i watched bly manor and i made this connection and now here we are im so sorry
> 
> kudos/comments appreciated!  
> twt: @ghostboyfs  
> tumblr: thirteen-beaxhes


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